Poem- The callous soul

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Poem - THE CALLOUS SOUL The callous soul - RGK She wore down till her last shade ,             when you complained of the stain . Through the shattered mirror,          she gazing over her wilted weather's pain . Streams from her eyes trace down her parched lips ;   they fumed as if she tasted the ocean in her dips. Time swept her sore sole     as her heart blistered upon their desertion . And you complained of her, for the callous! The callous soul, for once,            envied death over existence. -RGK KAVINAYAA (aka) KAVITHRA Briefing the poem : She stood along their hardships when they mocked over her pain. She almost lost her identity with the reality and viewed the world inside her lifeless just like the winter weather. The faded features of hers are overwhelmed by the sensation of the salt in her tears pressing her cracked lips and understanding the fact that time doesn...

Pemphigus vulgaris in mouth

(My experience during these incidents took place while I was away from home (ie.India) and studying medicine in Georgia.) 
The symptoms initially manifested in my mouth and throat. I distinctly recall waking up one morning on March 25, 2023, with a dryness in my throat. I attempted to ease the discomfort by drinking water, but swallowing became incredibly difficult, leading me to believe it was just a common case of dryness after a long break. However, as the days went by, the sore throat intensified, and I became increasingly aware of the presence of recurring mouth ulcers, which is referred to as blisters. These blisters caused me great distress, as they multiplied in both number and size, inflicting constant pain. They bled whenever I brushed my teeth, spit, or attempted to swallow food, creating a burning sensation that plagued me relentlessly.
 
The measures I implemented to alleviate the discomfort included warm water gargling, using betadiene mouth gargle, regularly consuming warm water, and incorporating yogurt into my daily diet.
 
As time went by, none of the usual remedies seemed to help and my pain only grew worse. I could no longer eat solid foods as my hard palate slowly eroded, forcing me to rely on liquids for sustenance. In desperation, I made an emergency appointment with an ENT doctor on April 29, 2023. Embarrassingly, the doctor looked visibly disgusted by my condition and referred me to the infectious department. After undergoing blood tests and swab tests, all my reports came back clean. They attributed my symptoms to academic stress and malnutrition, advising me to consume semi-solid meals and remain calm.
Lips:
 
However, in May 2023, the erosion began spreading onto my lips. They became constantly dry and even bled, making it incredibly difficult to eat. Despite drinking plenty of water daily, my suffering persisted. On the tongue which lead to complete erosions .
These erosions on my lips made me feel really insecured and in desperation I used different kinds of scrubs( scrubbing my lips with sugar and coffee powder, some days it was just sugar and vigorous rubbing on lips in thoughts that they would help in removing the dead dry skin) Later to know that they helped with nothing other than more dryness and extensive peeling. Re applying of lip balm or changing the brand didn’t help anymore. I rushed into a local drug store and asked them to suggest for a lip dryness remedy and they suggested olive oil and peppermint mix lip balm that helped me for time being. 
Everyday there was this wave of thoughts reminding me to what lengths I was taking myself in desperation. It made me question myself why is it so important for me to look perfect? Why am reaching out to these many lengths just for lips? Is it really just for the appearance or is it an unexplainable fear to accept the fact that I’m falling sick?


Parts of the mouth that gets affected: 

Pemphigus vulgaris; an unsettling war 
Pemphigus vulgaris in mouth




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